What You Don't See

Autism is a spectrum, and Asperger Syndrome is said to be on that spectrum (some people think it should be separate, though). Asperger Syndrome is itself a spectrum, ranging from apparently neurotypical, to more obvious high functioning autism (HFA). No matter where a person is on this spectrum, it is entirely possible for them to appear neurotypical (should that be their goal).

There's are the aspies people don't see. To all outward appearances they are 'normal', no matter how they behave at home. These very people may have many internal struggles, or very few. The point is, the ones that society notices are the ones that are not coping with society. A person diagnosed with needing substantial help may still be coping well due to support networks.

But people don't always see what's in front of them. If they don't take an interest, then they might not notice when someone needs support. I suppose the purpose of this post is really to say that even Aspies who appear to be coping might like some support. When I first left for university, to live away from home for the first time, I felt overwhelmed. When I think of the responsibilities of living in a property where nothing is provided, where I'd have to sort out gas, electric, internet, and any other bills, I'm not sure how I'd cope.

I'm not saying I think I need support (I don't even know if I would qualify), but I know I would be happier. I suppose the emotional support provided by a spouse would be more than enough. I would classify my problems as small, and may be experienced by NTs, but I still struggle more than NTs without practice (or training). I can now make a short phonecall without mapping out all of the conversational possibilities and coming up with responses. I might still hesitate, and of course I call on my bank of stock telephone phrases.

I can only speak for myself, but I find that I am able to behave more neurotypical when around NTs (see The Appearance of Ego). What I am careful of people not to see (except maybe my parents), are these inequities. However, my fear of engaging strangers in conversation is still a sticking point for me. I don't want to be coddled, I would like some support, but I don't want people to see me struggle.