That used to be a phrase that I couldn't really comprehend, and it used to annoy me when people said it. It's like telling someone not to forget - they can try to remember, but they may very well forget. But recently, after some reading, and not a small amount of thinking, I decided not to let it bother me.
After a long time worrying about worrying, I just thought: "let it go". And I was surprised (and happy) that I felt I could. Maybe it's because I have been trying, and reading, and trying some more that I got to this stage. Sure, it might be hard putting it in to practice, but right now I've got a grin on my face. Because I won't let these little things bother me.
It will be different for different people, but I think there must be a trigger that can be fired when you get to a certain point. I don't claim to have reached enlightenment, but I will say it's a good feeling just to say:
I am how I am, and I can't change that, only become better at being myself.
Suffering is created from within, and I choose to let go of that suffering.
Things will turn out how they turn out, why worry about it?
The core truth of what I am saying is that, if you are feeling negative emotions, get to a place where you can let go of them. You could exercise rigorously to release them, but it's an exercise of the mind to let them go before they build up.
Showing posts with label positive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive. Show all posts
14 Jun 2012
6 May 2012
Stimming
When it comes to dealing with anxiety, there are a few things you can try in order to lessen those feelings. However, when in stressful situations, I have found that I 'stim'.
It's not a phrase I applied to myself until recently, and it does apply. Similar to with OCD, it is the performance of repetitive actions, but this time in a more mentally healthy way. It is a calming action that is repeated when stressed. What is most often quoted is children with AS spinning in circles, but apparently can include intellectual pursuits or precision tasks.
Personally, my stimming mostly manifests itself in the form of wiggling the toes on my left foot. This is for just above base level anxiety, and I do find it helps me keep calm. It's nearly subconscious now, so that by the time I realise something is stressing me, I am already trying to deal with it. If I'm sat up, my leg jiggles, which draws attention, but not much, and it does it's job. For increased levels of stress (and nervous energy), I shake my right hand like I'm playing an invisible tambourine, or tap a surface really fast for a long period of time.
It works to bring down, or reign in, anxiety levels.I'm not saying it's a 'healthy habit', but I am saying it can help, especially in some social situation.
It's not a phrase I applied to myself until recently, and it does apply. Similar to with OCD, it is the performance of repetitive actions, but this time in a more mentally healthy way. It is a calming action that is repeated when stressed. What is most often quoted is children with AS spinning in circles, but apparently can include intellectual pursuits or precision tasks.
Personally, my stimming mostly manifests itself in the form of wiggling the toes on my left foot. This is for just above base level anxiety, and I do find it helps me keep calm. It's nearly subconscious now, so that by the time I realise something is stressing me, I am already trying to deal with it. If I'm sat up, my leg jiggles, which draws attention, but not much, and it does it's job. For increased levels of stress (and nervous energy), I shake my right hand like I'm playing an invisible tambourine, or tap a surface really fast for a long period of time.
It works to bring down, or reign in, anxiety levels.I'm not saying it's a 'healthy habit', but I am saying it can help, especially in some social situation.
16 Mar 2012
Mimicry
People don't often talk about the plus points of Aspergers, like loyalty, honesty, and memory. Some Aspergians become great scientists, musicians, or mathematicians. I find that because I watch people, I mean really watch them, I am able to copy mannerisms, accents, voices.
It's not important, or significant, but it's a talent mixed with a skill which I find amusing, a hobby if you will. I used to be genuinely surprised when other people couldn't do this. But then when I looked at it differently I found commonalities with having AS: I observe others and mimic their mannerisms and pronunciations. This is similar to how I look at my social behaviour: I observe others and mimic their behaviours.
Okay, so I can't bend my voice to sound like everyone, that's just not how the vocal system works. What I can do is hear an accent, copy and interpolate, and reproduce it, and I just know what to do. With some voices, I can actually produce a good facsimile. I can't describe exactly how I do it, but I kind of picture myself as the person I'm imitating.
As with social interactions, this works. Unfortunately, this talent I seem to have for vocal mimicry doesn't exactly map onto other situations. But I'm happy with my little talent - I can speak in 35 accents, and do impressions of at least 10 celebrities. Just one good aspect of being an aspie.
It's not important, or significant, but it's a talent mixed with a skill which I find amusing, a hobby if you will. I used to be genuinely surprised when other people couldn't do this. But then when I looked at it differently I found commonalities with having AS: I observe others and mimic their mannerisms and pronunciations. This is similar to how I look at my social behaviour: I observe others and mimic their behaviours.
Okay, so I can't bend my voice to sound like everyone, that's just not how the vocal system works. What I can do is hear an accent, copy and interpolate, and reproduce it, and I just know what to do. With some voices, I can actually produce a good facsimile. I can't describe exactly how I do it, but I kind of picture myself as the person I'm imitating.
As with social interactions, this works. Unfortunately, this talent I seem to have for vocal mimicry doesn't exactly map onto other situations. But I'm happy with my little talent - I can speak in 35 accents, and do impressions of at least 10 celebrities. Just one good aspect of being an aspie.
25 Feb 2012
It Is Never An Excuse
I have a tendency to want to blame my AS for certain behaviours and shortcomings. This is the wrong way to go about things. When I recognise something I could do better, I try hard to take that on board and improve on it next time. If I make a social faux pas then my obsession over it later can help ensure I don't do it again, or at least less often. If I find myself in a situation where I feel I'm about to lose control, I will examine the situation and try to understand what contributed to my state, and try to avoid or prevent that happening again in the future.
You could look at it in a similar way to overcoming addiction: there is an undesired behaviour which seems so natural, but that you're trying to overcome. You may have relapses occasionally. You may feel down occasionally. What if an alcoholic said the reason, the excuse, for his violence or uncivil behaviour was simply that he was an alcoholic? What if a drug addict said his stealing to support his habit was justified because he was a drug addict? That wouldn't lie. Neither does blaming Aspergers for poor behaviour and bad interactions.
I'm not saying AS is the same as addiction, because it is not. However, to be a happier overall person, it is important to fight every day. I've read that to face the world everyday, people with Aspergers are braver than most. If you let AS rule your life, you are not a worse person, but if you can look at the world as a challenge to be overcome, and strive to better yourself then I'd say yes, that is quite brave. And you can feel better about yourself because of it.
You could look at it in a similar way to overcoming addiction: there is an undesired behaviour which seems so natural, but that you're trying to overcome. You may have relapses occasionally. You may feel down occasionally. What if an alcoholic said the reason, the excuse, for his violence or uncivil behaviour was simply that he was an alcoholic? What if a drug addict said his stealing to support his habit was justified because he was a drug addict? That wouldn't lie. Neither does blaming Aspergers for poor behaviour and bad interactions.
I'm not saying AS is the same as addiction, because it is not. However, to be a happier overall person, it is important to fight every day. I've read that to face the world everyday, people with Aspergers are braver than most. If you let AS rule your life, you are not a worse person, but if you can look at the world as a challenge to be overcome, and strive to better yourself then I'd say yes, that is quite brave. And you can feel better about yourself because of it.
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