(Awkward) Silences

People say they don't like awkward silences, and that's fair, but I think the term 'awkward' is often misapplied. When an inappropriate comment is made in public conversation, it is called an awkward silence. When two people are waiting for, or are in, a lift and they don't talk, it is called an awkward silence. If someone holds your gaze for an extended period of time, that's awkward too.

But why they are awkward has always puzzled me. In the case of the lift (or elevator, for US occupants), my view is that I don't know this person, and there is no immediate need to speak to this person, so I don't. I have talked to an NT about this, who said that it seemed odd that people wouldn't talk to each other considering that we are all part of the human experience.

We are all people, yes, but where in society does it say that we must engage everyone we see in conversation? Perhaps society would be a friendlier, if noisier, place for this, but it would be less functional. The fact that NTs feel uncomfortable in silence is something they might want to look at. Perhaps it goes back to the fact that NTs try to read signs that aren't there and Aspies just don't read the signs. Maybe the NTs aren't picking up a vibe from the stranger next to them, or across the room from them, so feel unsure about the situation. Maybe people with AS are oblivious to the awkward feeling from the other party, so don't reciprocate it.

I'm still a little confused about it, but I don't feel the need to talk to people in order to break the silence. If their discomfort at no conversation is too much and they need to converse, I can overcome my discomfort with small talk to make them feel at ease. Usually, it's quite concise and results in silence, but a silence in which all parties concerned feel somewhat at ease.