That is where one part of the problem lies. The other part is the sheer anxiety I feel when I need to be somewhere at a specific time. I plan my route, I know arrival and departure times of any public transport, I know transit time, and I factor in time for unseen delays. And 99.9% of the time, I am on time or early. Thinking about it rationally, the repercussions of being late are astronomically minor. Okay, if I'm late to a job interview it might harm my chances, but I don't have those often. I can assure myself that I can get there an hour early, and even if there is a major transport incident, I could still get there with time to spare. All variables taken care of.
But there is still that nervous energy that makes me pace, clench my fists, grind my teeth, tap my fingers, and just generally stress out. The other part I mentioned is that I let it leak into other parts of my life, like meeting friends for a drink. "Oh meet at 8 o'clock? Yeah, I'll see you then." Then be there at 8 o'clock! It's not that hard. This is where I get a bit Aspie. Even if they said meet at about a given time, I always arrive on the dot, and expect them to. I've become used to the fact that very few people care as much as I do about being on time. I say that that specific trait is Aspie, because a few sources talk about the AS view of justice. If I abide by the these (albeit self inflicted) rules, then so should every one else. But they don't, and I've got used to it.
But I am still always on time.
No comments:
Post a Comment