Is this even a question I am ready, or even able, to answer? I don't know. Any autistic syndrome is classified as a disability of varying degree. Do I feel differently towards or about the physically or mentally different? I'd like to think not. But when asked if I believe I have a disability, I pause every single time before saying no.
Yes, I have some social impairment. Yes, I find it more difficult to deal with and identify emotions and associated non-verbal cues. Yes, decisions can be a laborious task. Yes, I might need support in tasks where others do not. But I still don't want to admit to a disability. Impairment maybe, but nothing else. Why?
I don't have a diagnosis. But that only deflects the question to why I don't try to get one. However true or untrue it may be, I believe there to be a stigma to disabilities, even if it is unconscious. Of course people knowing (or ideally being more generally aware of the prevalence of ASDs) more about Asperger Syndrome might make my and other people's interactions easier. I don't want to be treated differently for something I am, but something I've done. I don't want people to say "he did well, especially for someone like him". I know this is unlikely, but that the ever-present paranoia rearing it's head.
Yes, I have some social impairment. Yes, I find it more difficult to deal with and identify emotions and associated non-verbal cues. Yes, decisions can be a laborious task. Yes, I might need support in tasks where others do not. But I still don't want to admit to a disability. Impairment maybe, but nothing else. Why?
I don't have a diagnosis. But that only deflects the question to why I don't try to get one. However true or untrue it may be, I believe there to be a stigma to disabilities, even if it is unconscious. Of course people knowing (or ideally being more generally aware of the prevalence of ASDs) more about Asperger Syndrome might make my and other people's interactions easier. I don't want to be treated differently for something I am, but something I've done. I don't want people to say "he did well, especially for someone like him". I know this is unlikely, but that the ever-present paranoia rearing it's head.
Am I prejudiced against people with mental disabilities? I hope I am not, and I act like I am not. I have treated the mentally handicapped people I've met differently, but I treat different NTs differently based on who they are. Am I prejudiced against myself? I treat myself harder than I treat other people.
Do I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder? Yes. Do I have a disability? Would you judge a fish by it's ability to do calculus?
