Big Worries

Normally, I worry about things that other think of as small and insignificant, and they cause me anxiety. Occasionally, I think about the future, and what it might have in store. Now most people do this from time to time, and probably see something they like, or something they can work towards. I have a pretty firm idea of how I want my life to be a few years down the line, and I know it's not (massively) unrealistic.

I genuinely would like to marry and have kids. However, I know that AS is genetic, and a major worry for me is that I will produce children on the severe end of the spectrum. You may think me callous, or mean, or whatever, but I don't have severe AS, and I can find the world challenging enough. True, I may not carry 'the Asperger gene', but I am also unaware of any studies done into the matter.
I don't think it would stop me, and it wouldn't change how I felt if my kids were further along the spectrum, but the part of me that seems designed to be anxious flares up at this.
I realise this is a hurdle to be overcome if and when I get there.

The bigger worries are always the emotional worries, and not the intellectual ones. Perhaps this is because I feel I can apply logic and rationality to non-emotional issues. Getting a job, for example. I am a student at the moment and I know that I need a job in order to fund living. However, I don't seem to assign getting a job much significance. Finding emotional fulfilment, on the other hand, is a high priority. I told an NT once that I would be absolutely fine with being a social drop-out, as long as I was happy. This was not met well. I'm not seriously considering disregarding my education and prospects, but I felt it expressed how I felt, that almost paradox: what I want most (almost to exclusivity) is emotional stability/welbeing, but it seems more difficult to get, and employment (sure we're in a recession) which is less difficult with a science degree, holds no immediate draw. I know aspies and NTs may feel this alike.