You're An Effort to Deal With

It's not a uncommon view that people on the spectrum are hard to deal with. I accept that this may be true, especially as you go further along the spectrum. Neurotypicals have to "deal" with people with milder ASDs because we are, to them, unconventional. Trust me, there are books on it.

Well here's something - I find NTs hard to deal with. Twice recently, this has been brought home to me. Like any introvert, I like my own time to 'recharge'. As someone  with Aspergers, my sympathetic nervous system is 'on' more than that of a physiologically normal person. What does that mean? My parasympathetic nervous system is less effective at relaxing and recharging me. In real terms, it means I genuinely need time after work, or after a social gathering, or any situation with stressors, so I can be prepared for the next day. Twice recently, I have had guests from the moment I walked in (and one basically until I went to bed).

I enjoy seeing these people. But when I have company sprung on me without time to recharge or mentally prepare, I feel out of sorts. I'm not disturbed that my routine is upset (or upset that my routine is disturbed, take your pick), and I'm not put out that they want to see me. It purely is that I was trying to wind down, and someone accidentally dropped a spanner in the works.

This is true for many Aspies, and possibly, to some extent, everyone else. There doesn't need to stereotypical stress, and it doesn't have to have been a hectic day. I might post again about the nervous systems (as I have done about the brain), but for now let me say this: everyone is hard to deal with for a lot of Aspies, and it gets tiring, so it may seem like boredom or disinterest or anything else, but it can genuinely be that we've had enough socialising for today, so please go away.

Fatigue

Fatigue, weariness, tiredness. Three things on a spectrum. Fatigue occurs after a prolonged period where physical or mental faculties have been overtaxed. Many Aspies either have experienced or will experience fatigue at some point in their lives. Asperger's is sometimes known as 'wrong planet syndrome'. This is effectively true, especially when thrust in to the working world.

Most types of employment involve some levels of stress. Not yours? Imagine sitting by a cool pool in warm weather with no cares in the world. Now imagine your job. Stress. Most jobs involve forms of social interaction. No example needed here unless you test code in a darkened room all day, or spend your nights measuring light pollution. Social interaction. A person with AS may not notice that it takes effort, because it always has - this is normal. Also, it is a fact that many schools of management think that specialisation increases work efficiency. Why bring that up? Let me phrase it like this perhaps: Are you tired of doing the Same Thing Every Day? Some people may like it, but for others the endless performance of one tasks s demoralising. Uniformity.

These factors contribute heavily to fatigue, but for most Aspergians, the constant social environment is the perhaps the largest factor. This may be why we have been "traditionally" unable to maintain full-time employment (cited in a lot of literature, though I have never seen any raw data). From my own experience, fatigue is very real. There are a variety additional factors in my case, such as the feeling of futility and impotence to change the ineptitude of low level management, giving me a sense of fatigue. Such that, I have taken two weeks off work simply to do nothing. Easy for some, you might say. Well, yes, I do have the means to take this break, and I certainly had the motivation. I still don't feel entirely at ease, and am due to return to work on Monday. I shall have to see how quickly the fatigue returns. But right now, it feels necessary, because for every week working, I felt increasingly tired in my bones. I've been employed for under 1 year.