The Aspergian Brain

I don't profess to be a neuroscientist, or any other brain-studier, so what you read here may not be 100% accurate, but it's what I can pull together about how the difference in 'wiring' produces these different results.

The Frontal Lobe:
I understand that it controls/regulates things such as emotions, some motor skills, impulse control, long term memory, and decision making. Studies into children with AS have found that there is reduced activity in this area when making a decision. This is purely my speculation, but I'm thinking that the further along the spectrum, the less this area reacts. Think Rainman - Raymond was completely unable to determine right from wrong, or to decide his future.

Also, deficiencies (or deviations from the norm) in this area could mean a reduced emotional response or emotional competence. If the neurons aren't firing like those of NTs, then behaviour will be different. Interestingly, the frontal lobes are involved with the sense of humour, and I know that some Aspies are described as lacking in that department. Quite importantly, the area believed to be involved with detecting deception, irony, and sarcasm is in the frontal lobes.

If there is simply a difference in structure, and not a deficiency in brain chemicals, this may explain the single-mindedness - the ability to be completely absorbed , the stubbornness, even the genius. Research into adult Aspergians has found higher levels of protein in the frontal lobes (cerebral cortex). This same difference may also be linked with the difficulty in social interaction. The communication between parts of the brain may be hindered by the different layout or concentration of hormones.

More activity in this region could account for better non-task memory: fact recall.

The Amygdala:
This is supposedly where the emotions are decoded. If they are incorrectly decoded, or the message is misinterpreted at the other end, then I believe that would result in 'emotional incompetence'. As this is also the area that deals with threats and senses. This could explain why some people have sensory overloads: they perceive 'normal' things as threats or as bad things, and this part of the brain takes over, trying to get the body away and possibly warning others (wailing and jerking).

Possibly, the difference in the structure means that people with an ASD could be hyper-vigilant or unable to shut certain things out. The amygdala is in constant contact with the cerebral cortex, and if it thinks there is  danger, it will be sending more messages to the frontal lobes, causing anxiety.

It has also been linked to social emotional processing (empathy).


If anyone with learning or knowledge in this area wishes to contradict me, please do, as this is all speculation based on perfunctory research.

Stimming

When it comes to dealing with anxiety, there are a few things you can try in order to lessen those feelings. However, when in stressful situations, I have found that I 'stim'.

It's not a phrase I applied to myself until recently, and it does apply. Similar to with OCD, it is the performance of repetitive actions, but this time in a more mentally healthy way. It is a calming action that is repeated when stressed. What is most often quoted is children with AS spinning in circles, but apparently can include intellectual pursuits or precision tasks.

Personally, my stimming mostly manifests itself in the form of wiggling the toes on my left foot. This is for just above base level anxiety, and I do find it helps me keep calm. It's nearly subconscious now, so that by the time I realise something is stressing me, I am already trying to deal with it. If I'm sat up, my leg jiggles, which draws attention, but not much, and it does it's job. For increased levels of stress (and nervous energy), I shake my right hand like I'm playing an invisible tambourine, or tap a surface really fast for a long period of time.

It works to bring down, or reign in, anxiety levels.I'm not saying it's a 'healthy habit', but I am saying it can help, especially in some social situation.

A Step Back

I like to think that I'm acting more NT more easily over time, but today I found myself doing something I hate. I have always said I'm least at ease when I'm in a new situation and I don't know the protocol - that's when the anxiety kicks in. Today I avoided the anxiety by giving in to the sociophobia.


Somebody asked me to do something I'd never done before, and I couldn't push myself to do it. I need to figure out how to overcome this...

Wonderings

Is the best thing really to withdraw? By avoiding any situation in which one can be hurt, one supposedly avoids it. It might not be considered a good or happy life, but I say look at Sheldon Cooper. Although fictional, he represents a very real personality type. Often dragged out as the quintessential highly gifted aspie, he finds enjoyment in intellectual pursuits. Relationships are designed for fulfillment - the biology of the involved is such that the bond itself can bring happiness. This is not only true of romantic relationships (although the endorphin release may be much greater), but of social relationships too.

Similar to other aspies, I have perhaps a different classification of friendship than neurotypicals. I don't know what their system is, or even if they have one defined (I've never asked), but mine is very clear in its tiers.

Top tier - significant other:
This bond is thought of as unbreakable, while it provides high fulfillment of emotional needs. No important secrets, and absolute trust. Things in this relationship are as facts.

Second tier - close friends:
There are no more than half a dozen I would call close friends. These people know I'm aspie, and I sometimes talk to them about it. I confide in them. Money isn't an issue and items can easly pass between us. I don't tell them they're in my 'inner circle' but they might suspect it.

Third tier - friends:
They are who I socialise most with. Probably long time acquaintances, I'd be comfortable around them, but still put on a bit of an NT act. We share small talk and I don't have any issues with any of them. I would trust them with something, but nothing vital. For example my DSLR: only select few people are allowed to touch it, and only my family after hesitation.

Final tier - acquaintances/people I interact with:
This would be people I went to school or uni with but didn't particularly befriend combined with people I refer to as 'service people' (no offence meant, it is simply how I classify cashiers, ticketpeople, sales assistants, and the like) and people I see regularly who I don't intend to befriend.

This may explain why I have less than half the average number of 'friends' on social networks. But I don't care, they can't really have 400 friends... that's more than one per day. Can't be done.

Part of me thinks I could just invert in to my own little existence, not getting to know new people, wanting things to be the same. The rest knows it's impossible, and would probably end in depression. It's best to just get on with life, I suppose. And hell, I might even enjoy it.

What I Don't Understand

When I talk about things I don't understand, I don't mean Quantum Loop Gravity, Bessel Function proofs, or why the Kardashians are famous. I mean other things that NTs generally don't think about. Think of this post as a few micro-rants after a short hiatus.

The term "Hit and Miss" - these two terms are mutually exclusive, are they not? It is not possible to both miss and hit at the same time. What people mean to say is "sometimes this, sometimes that", or even "occasionally something". Is there no grey area? Just say it's equally likely.

Issues with bare feet - I know we cover up most of the rest of our bodies, but I was told it was poor form to be barefoot around the house in the presence of guests. Why? I only wear socks as shoe liners, and I'd be fine if people wanted to go barefoot around me. Some people ask you remove your shoes, I say it's fine to go one step further.

Um - I seem to have started making this noise to indicate I want to speak. I don't know why, but it's about as annoying to me as upspeak.

Everyone is always awesome - greetings cards are always to your favourite, or a very special person. Everybody who died of a disease was a light in their family's lives and a pillar of the community. There is nothing that expresses the sentiment "We don't really like each other, but it is a social expectation that I do this". This might not be the best idea, but it's a thought. I want to receive a card that states: "We have known each other for the best part of two decades, but we have never been particularly close. However, there exists a bond between us that is difficult to define but could be labelled as friendship. I wish to express my appreciation of this bond, the emotional fulfillment it can provide, and all the times we have enjoyed each other's company in card form. Happy Birthday"

Names of things and ambiguity - today I saw two products by the same manufacturer which had somewhat ambiguous labeling. As I read it, one product implied it refreshed your eyes, and one implied it made them itchy. I do understand of course the purpose of each. And I do really like the English language (most languages for that matter) - some words have multiple meanings and two words can sound the same (yay for puns) - but I don't always know how to process slightly ambiguous statements. Which is possibly why I don't do too well on wordy exam questions...