What Is In A Name?

Recently in the UK, there has been a lot of talk about gay marriage. I believe it is a purely an issue of semantics, not rights - either redefine the term 'civil partnership', or have the government tell a religion to redefine their doctrine. I think we know which is more sensible.

But this got me thinking about the terminology surrounding and mental 'abnormalities'. Mental breakdown, not right in the head, and weird are all used to describe someone who has either a temporary or a permanent chemical imbalance in the brain (I say imbalance, I mean a significant difference compared to one standard deviation of the population, 'normal'). Over recent years, there have been campaigns to try and rid people of preconceptions about mental illness. There was a campaign that told us not to 'not talk about it'. The most recent campaign is telling us "it's time to talk about mental illness". What about preexisting conditions?

I'm not suggesting a guide on Aspie spotting (though a fun game at universities and accounting departments), and it doesn't have to stick to autism spectrum disorders. We can't 'make autism history' (and don't want to). The government spends large amounts of money in ways not everyone agrees with - perhaps some could go towards a campaign to raise awareness, without asking people to diagnose everyone they know.

If people understand that terms can be offensive if used incorrectly, and that other terms are perfectly acceptable, maybe we can move past it as a society. Think #isitok of The Last Leg, which does a bit, but focuses mainly on physical disabilities. Of course, not everyone will listen, but some will, and wouldn't that be good?

Is All Publicity Good Publicity?

I'm talking about the awareness of autism spectrum disorders. This not only applies to their prevalence, but their understanding. Recent studies have shown that walking a mile in someone's shoes may only compound held beliefs, so is making the world think about autism a good thing?

I am most certainly not saying hide it away, but neither am I saying we should wear quite plain, non-textured adornments so that people everywhere have another 'cause' to be aware of. The only people I know who have heard of Asperger Syndrome are those who it has affected, or those who work with Aspies/Auties. Hey, have you hear about this thing called paraplegia? Of course you have. Have you heard of Schizophrenia? Of course you have. Teurette's had a certain image, and though it may still do, it's a more accurate image because of exposure to those with it.

You can't immediately see AS, and if you've never heard of it you'd just put their behaviour down to quirkiness, or unfortunately sometimes madness. There are a plethora of misdiagnoses, but we know that. The public seem not too, and some are stuck in the days of the Spastic Society. I think that without a strong drive, and possibly a face of AS, people will continue to misunderstand.

By no means am I putting myself forward, but can't some of the health budget go towards lending the support necessary for a sizeable number of people? It isn't a priority, and it should be a little more noticed.

Finding The One, or Just Someone

Despite my respite from posting, I intend to keep this short. I am starting to read a new book (Asperger Meets Girl) and before I got into it, I had some thoughts.

One problem people with an ASD claim to have is an inability to flirt. However, I have the inability to not flirt. I learned my behaviour by watching others and have been told I can be quite flirtatious. Why am I bragging? I'm not.

I lack the emotional and physiological detection skills to determine personal interest from polite interest. I cannot recognise when I'm being hit on unless I can see the checklist of signs. I, and many other A spies and Auties, must learn a) to recognise how and when to flirt, and b) when the hell someone is doing it back.

I've said previously about an anthropology book on the English, and it was useful. If you are struggling, find something which translate innate knowledge into rules and observations. It will help. I read a recent article about an airline helping autistic children understand and be comfortable with air travel. I am only aware of one place that teaches social skills, and more importantly inter-gender skills, in an ASD designed way. I'm not talking about biology, but psychology. Of course, courses and societies exist that are designed to get your designs. Adult learning for adult interactions.

I'm not interested. Occasionally I have considered making my voice heard, coming out of the very safe and decidedly neat Aspie cupboard because these resources either do not exist or a poorly advertised.

Unployment

Unemployment is bad. You don't get money, you don't get social standing, you don't get a sense of accomplishment. But is it? The only thing I disliked about unemployment was the hassle of signing on. Now I'm working and don't like it.

Of course I understand that to get something from the system, I have to put something in to the system, but the disadvantages of unemployment didn't out-weigh the advantages for me.Home was safe. I live with my parents (I'm 21 at the time of writing, by the way) and have rarely been short on funds. I had an active social life, and I think you can guess I liked doing whatever I wanted every day.

But now I have a job. I don't like it because it truly is below my intelligence level - no excitement, no challenge. I've been told nobody likes work. Why? They've settled, as I might do someday, for something just interesting enough so they don't quit.

I don't feel safe at work. Today I had to avoid a panic attack when someone asked me to use the the phone to call someone I didn't know about something I wasn't familiar with. I don't use the phone. At least, when I plan to use the phone I rationalise all possibilities, big myself up (not a euphemism), and practice before taking the plunge. I can now call the doctor with very little anxiety and forethought. Sometimes I need to find someone in the office and give them a message. That's not too much to ask because I'm familiar with the premise and probable results. No, work is not safe.

If somehow I had the wherewithal to run my own business, things might be easier because they would be expected and on my terms and I would rarely have to depend on others to guide me. I'm not saying this is a thought shared by fellow Aspies, but it might be an emotion shared by them.

Do I Have A Learning Disability?

Is this even a question I am ready, or even able, to answer? I don't know. Any autistic syndrome is classified as a disability of varying degree. Do I feel differently towards or about the physically or mentally different? I'd like to think not. But when asked if I believe I have a disability, I pause every single time before saying no.

Yes, I have some social impairment. Yes, I find it more difficult to deal with and identify emotions and associated non-verbal cues. Yes, decisions can be a laborious task. Yes, I might need support in tasks  where others do not. But I still don't want to admit to a disability. Impairment maybe, but nothing else. Why?

I don't have a diagnosis. But that only deflects the question to why I don't try to get one. However true or untrue it may be, I believe there to be a stigma to disabilities, even if it is unconscious. Of course people knowing (or ideally being more generally aware of the prevalence of ASDs) more about Asperger Syndrome might make my and other people's interactions easier. I don't want to be treated differently for something I am, but something I've done. I don't want people to say "he did well, especially for someone like him". I know this is unlikely, but that the ever-present paranoia rearing it's head.

Am I prejudiced against people with mental disabilities? I hope I am not, and I act like I am not. I have treated the mentally handicapped people I've met differently, but I treat different NTs differently based on who they are. Am I prejudiced against myself? I treat myself harder than I treat other people.

Do I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder? Yes. Do I have a disability? Would you judge a fish by it's ability to do calculus?